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    Akpos D Comedian

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    De Gud
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    Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Tue May 07, 2013 3:20 am

    Akpos has been admiring his
    neighbor's
    wife. The neighbor's wife always gives
    him this seductive smile whenever they
    greet each other. Akpos didn't know
    how to approach the lady to tell her of his
    desires because she's married. So,one
    day the lady herself approached
    Akpors alone in his apartment. AKPOS:
    Hi.
    LADY: Hi. AKPOS: Is everything alright?
    LADY: Yes. Just need little help from you
    (Smiling seductively).
    AKPOS: Wow! Anything for the angel.
    LADY: I...I...I...just don't know how to
    say this. I'll be so ashamed of myself if I ask
    and you say no.
    AKPOS: Oh my lady. you don't have to.
    I
    am ready to do anything for you.
    LADY: You know, it's been over 3 weeks since my
    husband travelled...
    AKPOS: Yes! Yes! Yes!
    LADY: And even when he's around,he
    has
    some... (pause for a while) he has some
    disabilities... AKPOS: Oh poor you... You must have
    been going through hell!
    LADY: I know you'll be stronger than
    him...
    AKPOS: Sure.
    LADY: Can you help me? AKPOS: Wow! Now? Sure,
    I'm ready if
    you are ready. LADY: Oh thanks
    goodness! that's why I
    came to you. Can you help me carry our
    deep freezer from our kitchen to the
    next street for repairs?
    Akpos nearly Cried!!!
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Tue May 07, 2013 3:23 am

    During testimony service on Sunday Akpos stood up and
    said: Make una join me in thanking and praising Baba GOD for
    His blessings αnd upliftment in my life. I tell you guys its
    good to have the fear of God and be honest. Last weekend
    as I was going home I came across a small bag and I opened
    it and behold what I found inside; 20,000 pounds!!!... Fear
    first catch me, but I took the bag home and when I emptied
    it and found some documents, ID cards, ATM cards and
    some phone numbers. One mind told me to call the numbers
    and the other told me to throw the documents away and
    use the money. I made up my mind and called the numbers
    and lucky enough the owner picked up the call. When I told
    him about the bag he told me he was the owner and told me
    everything that was inside the bag. We had an appointment
    and met, I handed his bag back to him and he gave me 2,000
    pounds which I rejected and left. Yesterday he called me
    and offered me a job worth 750k a month with Chevron, a
    3 bedroom flat fully furnished and air conditioned, and a
    2012 Toyota Camry. - - - - - As I was smiling and testing
    the car I just woke up... kai malaria dream to Bad!!!.










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Tue May 07, 2013 3:29 am


    Akpos
    who was a houseboy usually sneaks into his Oga's
    room, drinks his wine
    and adds water to top it up. One day his Oga
    bought a new wine called
    pasties, it was a french wine that changes colour
    if water is added onto
    it. Akpos unaware of this, sneaks into his Oga's
    room, drank the new
    wine and added water on it. Immediately it
    started changing colour.
    Akpos: I am in trouble, big trouble. He ran to the
    kitchen. Meanwhile,
    Oga and madam were sitted in the parlour, while
    Akpos was in the
    kitchen.
    ...
    OGA: Akpos
    Akpos: Oga
    OGA: who drank my pasties?
    No answer!
    OGA: Akpos, who drank my pasties?.
    No answer. Oga walked to the kitchen and saw
    Akpos there.
    OGA: Are you insane or what?. Why when i call, you
    say "Oga" but when i ask you a question you don't
    answer me.
    Akpos: Oga when you are in the kitchen you don't
    understand anything, except your name.
    OGA: Is that so?. Okay go to the parlour, stand
    beside madam and ask me a question while i stand
    here.
    Akpos went and did what oga said.
    Akpos: Ogaaaaaa
    OGA: Yes Akpos
    Akpos: Who goes into the maid's bedroom when
    madam is not at home?.
    No answer.
    Akpos: Ogaaaaaa!!! You dey hear me, I say who dey
    sneak enter the house girl room when madam no
    dey house.
    No answer. Oga runs out of the kitchen.
    OGA: Wonders shall never end. Akpos, it is true o,
    when one is in the kitchen, one does not hear
    anything, except one's name.
    MADAM: That's not true. It's a lie.
    Akpos: Madam, do you want to be tested?
    MADAM: Yes
    Akpos: Oya enter the kitchen
    She enters.
    Akpos: Madam
    MADAM: Yes Akpos
    Akpos: Who is Junior's biological Father? Me or Oga
    Madam rushed out of the kitchen
    MADAM: This kitchen needs to be fumigated o, I
    can't understand anything at all.
    How Many Like For Akpos










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by Adaeze on Tue May 07, 2013 11:11 am

    more pls, u made my day
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Tue May 07, 2013 11:14 am

    Adaeze wrote:more pls, u made my day
    abie!
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by osaz on Tue May 07, 2013 11:18 am

    hahaha, akpos too smart, nice 1
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by osaz on Tue May 07, 2013 11:22 am

    peter but why u write ur full name as username, not advisable bro abeg, change am or PM naijamotion to change and send u ur desired username.u are a wonderful guy. i like ur posts
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Tue May 07, 2013 11:25 am

    osaz wrote:hahaha, akpos too smart, nice 1
    yea!
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Tue May 07, 2013 11:29 am

    osaz wrote:peter but why u write ur full name as username, not advisable bro abeg, change am or PM naijamotion to change and send u ur desired username.u are a wonderful guy. i like ur posts
    my brother i like am liket that oh!
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Tue May 07, 2013 11:33 am

    osaz wrote:peter but why u write ur full name as username, not advisable bro abeg, change am or PM naijamotion to change and send u ur desired username.u are a wonderful guy. i like ur posts
    my brother i like am liket that oh!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Tue May 07, 2013 11:47 am

    pastor Akpos was caught by his church member in a bar drinking a bottle of
    chilled star*beer*. So, the member asked:
    Member: Haabaa! Pastor Akpos you should be drinking malt, fanta or coke
    not star that is a beer. Your not doing
    τђε word you preach o. Pastor Akpos: shatttap jooo, where was malt, fanta and
    coke when STAR led the 3 wise men to
    Jesus?










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Tue May 07, 2013 11:49 am

    Akpors father gave akpors 1k to spend at
    school for a full term,when the money
    was finished akpors decided to call
    hisfather and tell him that the moneywas
    finished.. Akpors dialed his father
    number.. *Number busy* Akpors kept on trying the numberit keeps on showing
    number busy..akpors then went to a
    business center,he dialed the number,as
    his father picked the call he kept
    mute..akpors himself kept mute..after
    2mins of silence akpors father changed his voice to answering machine..I Akpors father:Dear customer the number you are
    trying to call is currently not available
    please try again later.. Akpors:papa..
    Akpors father:shut up your dirty
    mouth,the number you are trying to call
    is not responding.. *Akpors redialed the number as his father picked the
    call,akpors quickly said.. Akpors:papa i
    know its you,i just want to tell you that
    i just won 200 thousand naira in a
    competition we did in school,& i want to
    send you 100 thousand naira.. Akpors father:dear customer yourcall is very
    very important to papa akpors please
    hold on at your caller'..










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by Naijamotions on Wed May 08, 2013 9:10 am

    Akpos na sharp guy, good job Peter
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Wed May 08, 2013 9:20 am

    Thanks my brov!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Wed May 08, 2013 9:21 am

    Naijamotions wrote:Akpos na sharp guy, good job Peter
    check ur pm!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by yemi on Wed May 08, 2013 10:12 am

    hehehe, akpos wan kill person
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Wed May 08, 2013 10:18 am

    yemi wrote:hehehe, akpos wan kill person
    @yemi how u dey nah!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by lapepe on Wed May 08, 2013 10:20 am

    @De Gud
    who be this funny akpos?
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Wed May 08, 2013 10:23 am

    Na ugly boy like that!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by lapepe on Wed May 08, 2013 1:17 pm

    can we see akpos picture?
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Wed May 08, 2013 1:40 pm

    Yes!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Wed May 08, 2013 6:04 pm

    Akpors had been promoted to
    primary 5 and the teacher
    Miss Erimma was going round
    asking the pupils addition
    questions.
    She got to the first boy and
    asked "40 + 6" the boy replied
    "forty six" "good" teacher
    replied and moved on
    "yes you, " 50+4" and the
    pupil replied "madam fifty
    four ".... again good the
    teacher remarked
    The teacher went round and
    round and round till she got
    to the last seat occupied the
    boy himself Akpors
    the teacher asked "yes you,
    Akpors, 60 + 10 ?"
    Akpors stood up and
    stammered " Ma-ma-ma
    Madam, its SIXTY TEN"
    The teacher miscarried her
    8months old pregnancy
    instantly










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Thu May 09, 2013 5:16 pm



    This is Mr. Akpos picture!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by lapepe on Thu May 09, 2013 5:54 pm

    kai, see hamsomeness. akpos the fine boy, i hail dee

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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by Bishop042 on Thu May 09, 2013 7:01 pm

    Mr Akpors ordered for a voice
    automated robot car that does
    anything he tells it to do
    correctly without any error. He got the car and started
    sending it on errands. He was so
    proud of what the car
    can do without mistakes. He was not able to go out on a
    day, his wife told him to tell the
    car to go and pick the children
    from school because she was so tired. Mr Akpors agreed. Mr Akpors: Car, go and bring my
    children from school. The car went and didn't return in
    time as expected, they knew
    something must be
    wrong. Several hours later and no car, Mr
    Akpors became worried, dressed
    up, ready to lodge a report at the
    police station. He and his wife just
    stepped
    outside when they saw the car coming with an overload of children.
    The car parked right in front of
    them and said, "These are your
    children sir" In the car was their Landlady's
    two daughters, their choir mistress
    two sons, his wife's best friend's
    daughter, their
    pastor's son and their neighbours two
    sons. Wife: Don't tell me all these ones
    are your children? Mr Akpors, nonplussed, calmly
    replied.. DEAR,CAN YOU TELL ME WHY YOUR
    OWN CHILDREN ARE NOT IN THE
    CAR??
    I NEED SOME EXPLANATION.

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