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    Akpos D Comedian

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    Bishop042
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by Bishop042 on Thu May 09, 2013 7:01 pm

    Mr Akpors ordered for a voice
    automated robot car that does
    anything he tells it to do
    correctly without any error. He got the car and started
    sending it on errands. He was so
    proud of what the car
    can do without mistakes. He was not able to go out on a
    day, his wife told him to tell the
    car to go and pick the children
    from school because she was so tired. Mr Akpors agreed. Mr Akpors: Car, go and bring my
    children from school. The car went and didn't return in
    time as expected, they knew
    something must be
    wrong. Several hours later and no car, Mr
    Akpors became worried, dressed
    up, ready to lodge a report at the
    police station. He and his wife just
    stepped
    outside when they saw the car coming with an overload of children.
    The car parked right in front of
    them and said, "These are your
    children sir" In the car was their Landlady's
    two daughters, their choir mistress
    two sons, his wife's best friend's
    daughter, their
    pastor's son and their neighbours two
    sons. Wife: Don't tell me all these ones
    are your children? Mr Akpors, nonplussed, calmly
    replied.. DEAR,CAN YOU TELL ME WHY YOUR
    OWN CHILDREN ARE NOT IN THE
    CAR??
    I NEED SOME EXPLANATION.
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    De Gud
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Thu May 09, 2013 8:15 pm

    Bishop042 wrote:Mr Akpors ordered for a voice
    automated robot car that does
    anything he tells it to do
    correctly without any error. He got the car and started
    sending it on errands. He was so
    proud of what the car
    can do without mistakes. He was not able to go out on a
    day, his wife told him to tell the
    car to go and pick the children
    from school because she was so tired. Mr Akpors agreed. Mr Akpors: Car, go and bring my
    children from school. The car went and didn't return in
    time as expected, they knew
    something must be
    wrong. Several hours later and no car, Mr
    Akpors became worried, dressed
    up, ready to lodge a report at the
    police station. He and his wife just
    stepped
    outside when they saw the car coming with an overload of children.
    The car parked right in front of
    them and said, "These are your
    children sir" In the car was their Landlady's
    two daughters, their choir mistress
    two sons, his wife's best friend's
    daughter, their
    pastor's son and their neighbours two
    sons. Wife: Don't tell me all these ones
    are your children? Mr Akpors, nonplussed, calmly
    replied.. DEAR,CAN YOU TELL ME WHY YOUR
    OWN CHILDREN ARE NOT IN THE
    CAR??
    I NEED SOME EXPLANATION.
    hahahaha na full load!










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    Bishop042
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by Bishop042 on Fri May 10, 2013 4:31 pm

    Akpos was sleeping in the
    afternoon....suddenly he started dreaming..
    He dreamt were he was turned into a fowl so
    he was very happy coz
    he could go anywhere.
    So as a fowl he wanted to lay eggs.....so he tried to push it out he layed d
    ist one nd was happy,he tried again nd lay d
    second one as he was about
    laying the third egg...his room mate woke
    him up with a slap saying Akpos
    Akpos u don shit 4 BeD.....
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Fri May 10, 2013 4:38 pm

    Bishop042 wrote:Akpos was sleeping in the
    afternoon....suddenly he started dreaming..
    He dreamt were he was turned into a fowl so
    he was very happy coz
    he could go anywhere.
    So as a fowl he wanted to lay eggs.....so he tried to push it out he layed d
    ist one nd was happy,he tried again nd lay d
    second one as he was about
    laying the third egg...his room mate woke
    him up with a slap saying Akpos
    Akpos u don shit 4 BeD.....
    hahaha, akpos na funny guy!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Fri May 10, 2013 4:40 pm

    Bishop042 wrote:Akpos was sleeping in the
    afternoon....suddenly he started dreaming..
    He dreamt were he was turned into a fowl so
    he was very happy coz
    he could go anywhere.
    So as a fowl he wanted to lay eggs.....so he tried to push it out he layed d
    ist one nd was happy,he tried again nd lay d
    second one as he was about
    laying the third egg...his room mate woke
    him up with a slap saying Akpos
    Akpos u don shit 4 BeD.....










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by Bishop042 on Sat May 11, 2013 9:38 am

    A frustrated Principal on Monday Morning
    Assembly says:
    'Since the Genesis of this term, some students
    have been Exodusing to town and I will use
    my Levitical power to Deuteronomise their
    Numbers. To do this, I have appointed Joshua as one of the Judges, Ruth and Samuel as
    Kings. To Chronicle the events is Ezra while
    Nehemiah and Esther will complete the Job
    and they shall all sing in Psalm and speak in
    Proverbs Psalm was teaching his
    children Proverbs concerning Ecclesiastes and Songs of
    Solomon. This coincided with the period that
    Isaiah and Jeremiah were engaged in
    Lamentation for Ezekiel and Daniel their
    friend.
    By that time, Amos and Obadiah were not around. Three days later, Hosea, Joel and
    Jonah will
    traveled in the same ship with Micah and
    Nahum
    to Jerusalem . More also,Habakkuk will visit
    Zephaniah who introduced him to Haggai a friend
    of Zechariah whose cousin is Malachi.
    Am sure u will all like to live in new style just
    like, Matthew,
    Mark, Luke and John got involved in Acts with
    the Romans who were behaving like the Corinthians, who were also always at
    loggerhead
    with the Galatians. Then
    Ephesians will realise that the Philippians
    were close to the Colossians, suggested to the
    Thessalonians that they should first of all see Timothy who had gone to the house of Titus
    to
    teach Philemon his younger brother how to
    read
    and write Hebrew. On hearing, James asked
    Peter to explain to him how the three Johns have
    disclosed to Jude the
    Revelation of the Best Principal

    Bishop042
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by Bishop042 on Sat May 11, 2013 9:43 am

    Akpos wanted to use his ATM card but
    the machine
    kept on rejecting the card. A frustrated
    Akpos called
    his bank help line.
    Akpos : (angrily) So what's wrong with my ATM card.
    Call girl : Sir, I have checked your
    account, everything
    is alright here and You should be able
    to use your
    card, are you sure your card is not damaged or
    broken?
    Akpos : Are you insane? What are You
    insinuating? No
    one takes good care of their ATM card
    like I do. Call girl : Okay Sir, are you also sure the
    surface isn't
    wet or stained with dirt?
    Akpos : You dey mad? ATM card when
    I dey pet like
    egg. As a matter of fact, I even laminated it last week
    when I laminated my Identity card.
    Call girl : Did you just said LAMINATE?
    Akpos : Of course Yes!!!
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    De Gud
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Sat May 11, 2013 10:33 am

    Bishop042 wrote:Akpos wanted to use his ATM card but
    the machine
    kept on rejecting the card. A frustrated
    Akpos called
    his bank help line.
    Akpos : (angrily) So what's wrong with my ATM card.
    Call girl : Sir, I have checked your
    account, everything
    is alright here and You should be able
    to use your
    card, are you sure your card is not damaged or
    broken?
    Akpos : Are you insane? What are You
    insinuating? No
    one takes good care of their ATM card
    like I do. Call girl : Okay Sir, are you also sure the
    surface isn't
    wet or stained with dirt?
    Akpos : You dey mad? ATM card when
    I dey pet like
    egg. As a matter of fact, I even laminated it last week
    when I laminated my Identity card.
    Call girl : Did you just said LAMINATE?
    Akpos : Of course Yes!!!
    akpos na funny guy!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Sat May 11, 2013 11:01 am

    Akpors: I'm Hungary, Mum: why don't you Czech the fridge.
    Akpors: ok i'm Russian to the kitchen. Mum: Hmmm.. may be
    you'll find some Turkey. Akpors: Yeah but its all covered in
    Greece. yuck! Mum: There is Norway you can eat that.
    Akpors: I know, I guess i'll just have a can of Chile Mum:
    Denmark your name on the can. Akpors: Kenya do it for me?
    Mum: Ok, I'm Ghana do it. Akpors: Thanks, i'm so tired Iran
    for an hour today Mum: it Tokyo long enough. Akpors: yeah
    Israelly hard sometimes!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by TCODED on Sun May 12, 2013 2:18 am

    DE GUD wrote:Akpors: I'm Hungary, Mum: why don't you Czech the fridge.
    Akpors: ok i'm Russian to the kitchen. Mum: Hmmm.. may be
    you'll find some Turkey. Akpors: Yeah but its all covered in
    Greece. yuck! Mum: There is Norway you can eat that.
    Akpors: I know, I guess i'll just have a can of Chile Mum:
    Denmark your name on the can. Akpors: Kenya do it for me?
    Mum: Ok, I'm Ghana do it. Akpors: Thanks, i'm so tired Iran
    for an hour today Mum: it Tokyo long enough. Akpors: yeah
    Israelly hard sometimes!

    LWKMD!!!
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by adeola on Sun May 12, 2013 4:51 am

    Akpos, how many times did i call you? well! u are just keepiing it real
    @ De Gud, keep it up










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Sun May 12, 2013 9:37 am

    adeola wrote:Akpos, how many times did i call you? well! u are just keepiing it real
    @ De Gud, keep it up
    tanks my brother!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Sun May 12, 2013 1:08 pm

    Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?..
    Akpos: H I J K L M N O.
    Teacher: What re you talking about?
    Akpos: Yesterday, you said it's H to O"
    Happy weekend 2u all!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Sun May 12, 2013 3:15 pm

    Enjoy una day!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by TCODED on Sun May 12, 2013 7:54 pm

    DE GUD wrote:Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?..
    Akpos: H I J K L M N O.
    Teacher: What re you talking about?
    Akpos: Yesterday, you said it's H to O"
    Happy weekend 2u all!
    nice one!
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Sun May 12, 2013 8:10 pm

    TCODED wrote:
    DE GUD wrote:Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?..
    Akpos: H I J K L M N O.
    Teacher: What re you talking about?
    Akpos: Yesterday, you said it's H to O"
    Happy weekend 2u all!
    nice one!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Sun May 12, 2013 8:10 pm

    TCODED wrote:
    DE GUD wrote:Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?..
    Akpos: H I J K L M N O.
    Teacher: What re you talking about?
    Akpos: Yesterday, you said it's H to O"
    Happy weekend 2u all!
    nice one!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Sun May 12, 2013 8:27 pm

    thankz my man!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Mon May 13, 2013 6:19 am

    A GIRL'S MOTHER ADVICED HER DAT SHE
    SHOULD NEVA ALLOW ANY BOY TO SEE HER
    PANTS, DAT SHE WILL HAVE COMMITTED A SIN.
    ONE DAY SHE WENT OUT WITH AKPOS TO
    STROLL IN THE FOREST, SHE TOLD AKPOS WAT
    HER MOTHER TOLD HER
    THEN SHE TRIED TO CLIMB A TREE, AND ASKED
    AKPOS TO HELP HER UP
    AS SHE CLIMBED THE TREE, AKPOS STOOD
    UNDER THE TREE,
    HE NOW LAUGHED OUT LOUD AND SAID HE
    HAS SEEN HER PANTS.
    SHE QUICKLY CLIMBED DOWN AND WAS ANGRY
    THEN WENT HOME,
    SHE TOLD HER MOTHER WAT HAPPENED, BUT
    THE MOTHER JUST FURTHER ADVICED HER.
    THE NEXT TYM SHE WENT OUT ALONE AND
    CLIMBED THE TREE, DIS TYM AKPOS
    SNEAKED UNDER THE TREE AND STARTED
    LAUGHING,
    SHE GREW ANGRY AGAIN AND WENT HOME,
    ANODA TYM AGAIN SHE WENT TO THE SAME
    TREE AND CLIMBED IT
    DIS TYM AKPOS SNEAKED WIT A FRIEND AND
    CAME AND THEY BOTH STARTED LAUGHING.
    SHE GREW ANGRY AND WENT HOME.
    THE NEXT TYM AGAIN SHE WENT TO CLIMB THE
    TREE.
    AKPOS AND TWO OTHER GUYS CAME. WHEN
    SHE SAW DEM COMING,
    SHE QUICKLY REMOVED HER PANTS AND
    CLIMBED THE TREE.
    AKPOS AND HIS FRIENDS DID NOT LAUGH BUT
    BECAME SO SILENT.
    SHE BECAME HAPPY DAT NOBODY LAUGHED,
    DAT SHE WENT HOME HAPPILY,
    HER MOTHER ASKED HER WAT WAS THE
    REASON FOR THE HAPPINESS,
    SHE TOLD HER DAT NOBODY SAW HER PANTS
    TODAY,
    BECAUSE SHE TOOK THEM OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Mon May 13, 2013 6:20 am

    gudmorning 2u all!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by destined on Mon May 13, 2013 4:35 pm

    Good job guys
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Mon May 13, 2013 4:49 pm

    destined wrote:Good job guys
    yea!










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by destined on Mon May 13, 2013 5:30 pm

    DE GUD wrote:
    destined wrote:Good job guys
    yea!
    check ur inbox bro.
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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Mon May 13, 2013 5:55 pm

    repried










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by De Gud on Mon May 13, 2013 6:23 pm

    i av repried










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    Re: Akpos D Comedian

    Post by destined on Mon May 13, 2013 11:34 pm

    WIFE: If i knew you were this Poor I wouldn't have married you!

    AKPOS: What do you think I meant when I said you were the only thing I have in this world?"

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