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    naijamotions jokes diary

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    De Gud
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    naijamotions jokes diary

    Post by De Gud on Tue May 07, 2013 3:33 am

    MY BROS & SIS U WIL NEVA BLIV WHT HAPND 2ME
    YSTDY. STILL CNT GET OVA IT. I WNT 2 D SUPER MKT 2
    PICK SMTHNG 2 EAT N AS I WS WALKING DWN D ISLE, I
    NOTICED DIS MAN STARING AT ME. I LUKED AT HIM N
    KEPT WALKING 2D FRONT COUNTER 2PICK BOTTLED
    WATER AND GALA. AS I PICKED DEM AND TURNED TO
    FIND D SAME MAN RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! I TRIED 2
    SHOW HIM SOME LUV, SO I SMILED N SAID "HI" THEN I
    WENT ON 2 GET A CAN COKE. CAN U BELIEVE THE
    SAME MAN FOLLOWED ME? I WAS GETTING A LITTLE
    NERVOUS AND MAD COS HE WAS FOLLOWING ME
    WITHOUT SAYING ANYTING. BUT I TRIED TO STAY
    FRIENDLY" I JUST SAID "HI" HE FINALLY RESPONDED
    AND SAID, "I AM SORRY 4 STARING BUT U LOOK JUST
    LIKE MY YOUNGEST SON..WE JUST BURIED HIM 2WKS
    AGO. I FELT STUPID 4 GETING MAD AS I EXPRESSED MY
    SYMPATHY TO HIM. HE SAID HE WAS FINE AS HE KNOWS
    DAT HIS SON IS WITH D LORD. THEN HE ASKED ME TO DO
    HIM A FAVOUR. I SAID "IF I CAN". HE SAID HE WAS A BIT
    SAD DAT HIS SON NEVA SAID GOODBYE 2 HIM B4
    PASSING ON. HE ASKED ME TO GET IN LINE BEHIND HIM &
    AS HE LEFT D STORE, I SHOULD SAY "GOODBYE DAD".
    SO DAT HE COULD HAVE SOME SENSE OF CLOSURE.
    THOUGH HIS REQUEST WAS WEIRD, I HOWEVER AGREED
    2 GRANT IT. SO AS HE COLLECTED HIS BAGS FROM D
    CASHER AND WALKED AWAY, I SAID "BYE DAD". HE
    TURND AND SAID "BYE SON". WHEN THE CASHIER
    CALCULATED MY STUFF, SHE SAID THE TOTAL WAS
    N6750!!!. I SAID WHAT!!...CAN U TELL ME HOW A BOTTLE
    OF N70 WATER, N5O GALA AND N100 CAN COKE
    EQUALS N6750?. SHE SAID "YOUR DAD SAID U ARE
    PAYING 4 HIS TOO"....MY DAD?, I SHOUTED. DAT MAN IS
    NOT MY FATHER OOO!!!". I QUICKLY RUSHED OUT JUST IN
    TIME TO SEE THE MAN APPROACHING THE PARKING
    LOT. I RAN AFTER HIM AND WAS SCREAMING..."EX CUSE
    ME, EXCUSE ME!!!". HE STARTED RUNNING 4 HIS CAR AS
    HE SAW ME COMING. I CAUGHT UP WITH HIM JUST B4 HE
    WAS ABLE 2 CLOSE D DOOR. I KEPT ON PULLING AND
    PULLING HIS LEGS!!! JUST LIKE AM PULLING YOURS NOW!!!
    YOU TOO LIKE GIST! C AS U DEY ENJOY DEY READ DEY
    GO!!
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    Decode
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    Re: naijamotions jokes diary

    Post by Decode on Tue May 07, 2013 10:28 am

    hehehe, u don suffer be that, as for me i will break his wind screen. good one pal, more pls










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    osaz
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    Re: naijamotions jokes diary

    Post by osaz on Tue May 07, 2013 10:29 am

    nice joke, keep it up
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    yemi
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    Re: naijamotions jokes diary

    Post by yemi on Tue May 07, 2013 10:30 am

    see wahara
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    Adaeze
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    Re: naijamotions jokes diary

    Post by Adaeze on Tue May 07, 2013 10:32 am

    keep it rolling in, thats a good one
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    Re: naijamotions jokes diary

    Post by De Gud on Tue May 07, 2013 11:12 am

    i will upload more!










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    Re: naijamotions jokes diary

    Post by osaz on Tue May 07, 2013 11:25 am

    aneke peter chukwujekwu wrote:i will upload more!

    pls do bro, thanks
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    Re: naijamotions jokes diary

    Post by De Gud on Tue May 07, 2013 11:40 am

    DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GIRL
    AND
    A WOMAN: »Girls search for a
    rich man
    »Woman search for a caring
    and loving man »Girls envy those who
    move ahead and
    hate the players »Women
    share their
    knowledge and help others
    move ahead by not hating the players but teaching the rules
    to
    the game. »Girls measures her
    man's worth
    by the weight of his pocket.
    »Women measures her man's worth by
    his level of
    Wisdom and the fear of God
    and how
    disciplined he can be towards
    his finances. »Girls ending breakup with silly excuses
    »Women has endurance
    knowing that
    everything happen for a
    reason »Girls thinks
    about present »Women thinks about future
    »Girls : love to having many
    guys going After
    her »Women : knows the law
    of demand (Cheap things has
    high purchasers) »Girls takes relationship affairs
    outside »Women
    solve the problem within
    Herself and her
    partner »Girls demand for money to buy make-Ups »Women demand
    for money to
    make plans »Girls get hurt by
    one man and make all men pay for it. »Women know
    that, that was just ONE man.
    »A girl is
    "learning"...A woman "knows"
    »Girls will
    read this and get an attitude. »GROWN
    WOMEN will read this and pass
    it on to
    other grown women ,And A
    real man will drop a
    comment.










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    Re: naijamotions jokes diary

    Post by De Gud on Tue May 07, 2013 11:43 am

    A wealthy man who had only
    one daughter. When the
    daughter was of marriage
    age, the father sent news
    around town that all the
    eligible young men should come to compete in atest
    which would determine
    whowas fit to marry his
    daughter. Onthat set day, all
    the able-bodied young men
    came out. Some camewith paper and biro and others
    with cutlasses and swords.
    The rich man took them to his
    swimming pool and
    addressed the men: “ Any of
    you who can swim from one end of this swimming pool to
    the other would marry my
    daughter. In addition, I‘ll give
    him $15, a car and a house so
    they can start lifewell. I shall
    be waiting to meet my son- in-law at the other side. Good
    luck!” As the young men,
    allvery excited at the
    prospect ofwinning, started
    taking off their shirts, a
    helicopter came over the pool and dropped snakes and
    crocodiles into the pool.
    Immediately all the men
    turned back and started
    wearing their shirts again.
    Disappointed, some of them said let d man marry
    daughter,i can't enjoy d prize
    wen i die o...All of a sudden,
    they heard a splash in the
    pool. Everybody watched in
    amazementas one gentleman struggled his way across,
    avoiding the snakes and
    crocodiles. Finally, he made it
    to the other side. The rich
    man couldnot believe it. He
    asked the young man to name anything he wanted but the
    man was still panting
    uncontrollably. Finally, hegot
    himself and made a request
    saying ” pls someone should
    show me the idiot that pushed me inside this
    pool”..lolz....
    Moral: You don’t know what
    you are capable of doing,
    until you arePUSHED!!. You
    can still make the most out of the rest of the YEAR. Have a
    fulfilled week ahead of you. Api new
    mnth guyz.










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    Re: naijamotions jokes diary

    Post by De Gud on Sat May 11, 2013 11:30 am

    Please read this: This is a real story of a young Ex-Unilag
    girl who passed away last month. Her name is Lola. She
    was hit by a car at Oyingbo on her way to work at
    Apapa. She was working with MTN. She had a boy friend
    named Emeka, a banker who was recently transferred to
    Abuja. Both of them were true lovers. She spent half of
    the day and most nights talking with Emeka on her phone.
    Lola's family knew about their relationship. Emeka was
    very close to Lola's family in spite of the tribal
    differences. (just imagine their love). Before she passed
    away at LUTH, she told her friends "If I pass away,
    please bury me with my cell phone" she also said the same
    thing to her parents. After her death at LUTH, the
    attendants couldn't carry her body to the mortuary. A
    lot of them tried to do so but still couldn't. They went
    and called some priests in church who had the gift of
    communicating with the dead. He sprinkled some salt and
    water on the body and started speaking to himself
    slowly. After a few minutes, they said "this girl ????§
    missing something". Then her friends told them about her
    intention to be buried her with her phone. They asked
    them to bring a coffin, and then they opened it and
    placed her phone inside the casket. After that they tried
    to carry the body. It could now be moved and they carried
    it away easily. Everyone was shocked. A day later which
    was Lola's birthday, Emeka came to their house with
    gifts but was so shocked to receive d news. He couldn't
    believe because he still spoke with Lola d previous day, he
    then tried calling her phone again in their presence and
    behold! It rang nd Lola picked it and they were chatting.
    They called d priest to come and intervene nd when he
    came and prayed for 5 hours, it was revealed dat MTN is
    everywhere u go Chill,, don't hate me yet, cos I'm also
    looking for d idiot that sent me dis,so as to strangle
    him......lolz. Buh una like gist sha. Api Weekend Guys!










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    Re: naijamotions jokes diary

    Post by De Gud on Sat May 11, 2013 12:03 pm

    An Edo Man invited his friends for his mother's burial. After
    lowering the coffin, the family put yam, rice, meat etc, into
    the grave in line with tradition. An hausa man asked why?
    The Edo man smiled &said, ccording to our tradition, the
    dead go on a long journey & need all the food items they can
    get".
    The hausa man dropped N100,000 inside and said, "when
    the food finish, buy more". The yoruba man dropped
    N50,000 and said, "add this incase it's not enough".
    The Igbo man smiled and brought out his cheque book &
    wrote a cheque of N250,000, dropped it in the coffin &
    took the N150,000 notes as a change, then said, "Nwanne,
    withdraw when you reach dia o...It is going to be a
    dangerous journey we don't know how many robbers are
    out there and afterall we are in a cashless economy na!
    Travel well o!"










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    Re: naijamotions jokes diary

    Post by TCODED on Sun May 12, 2013 2:19 am

    LOL
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    Re: naijamotions jokes diary

    Post by De Gud on Mon May 13, 2013 3:03 am

    more loading............










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